One thing I’ve come to realize (again) about weight loss success is that it all comes down to having a good mentality that will then enable me to make better choices. In the short time, I have had this blog; I have begun to see a pattern with my binges and bad choices. If I have a bad day, I make a bad choice.
Last night I had a pivotal moment in controlling my bad karma. Here’s the situation:
I came home from work in a semi-rotten mood. People were mad at me for missing two days because of sick kids and I was waiting for the other shoe to drop (get called out by my supervisor in other words). The shoe didn’t drop all day and this left me feeling tense and angry inside. On my lunch hour, I made a bad food choice and binged at McDs. I felt even worse after eating the garbage but for a brief moment, it had the ability to pacify my feelings of worthlessness.
Therefore, when I got home that evening, I was ready to cry or yell – whichever emotion happened to hit me first. I remember sitting on the short couch talking to my husband about my day. I noticed he seemed a bit uninterested. At the time, I felt like he was dismissing me, now I realize that his facial expressions and body movements were liken to the fact that he couldn’t fix it and felt frustrated for me.
I *ALMOST* lit in to him. I *ALMOST* said, “Well, geez, it seems like you just don’t care whether or not I’ve had a bad day. Guess I’ll quit talking now.” Thank God, I didn’t go there!
Instead, I stopped myself and realized that I needed somewhere else to place my energy. I had two choices at that moment, I could either, sit on the short couch and bitch, OR I could be productive.
As it turned out, I chose the latter and washed the hallway, bedroom & bathroom walls. After I was done with my task, I had forgotten all about my anxiety-ridden moment. My husband asked me what I wanted for dinner and I made a better choice.
When I lost a tremendous amount of weight the first time, I realize now that I didn’t take the time to fix the inside. I tried to fix it but threw myself into exercise instead.
Now, I am trying to change things little by little and it feels productive albeit slow. I need to realize that I will not receive instant gratification with my weight loss journey. I will however, receive little gratifications along the way that arrive in forms of feeling better about myself, fitting into new clothes, watching my double chin disappear, and finally the absence of camel toe.
Today I ate:
Half a cake donut (complete with frosting and sprinkles): 5 pts
Weight Watchers Meal: 6 pts
Total so far: 11 points
Until next time,
1 comment:
I find that cleaning works for me too, whenever I'm stressed or tense. There's only two of us, but we let the place clutter up and then I will have a mad cleaning rampage. Bonus, it's good exercise too.
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