It's hard for me to write in this blog without being completely honest.
I have decided to start writing everything down that I eat and so as to figure out why, i've also decided to write the feelings I had when I made that choice.
Today's Meals:
Breakfast: Nothing
Snack: Nothing
Lunch: McDonald's #1 (Big Mac, Fries, Diet Coke) Large & a cheeseburger
Snack: Nothing
Dinner: Not sure
Points so far:
Big Mac = 13
Cheeseburger = 7
French Fries = 14
Diet Coke = 0
Lunch Total = 34
Wow. I'm not sure how many WW points I can have yet, though i'm sure 34 isn't the number.
Why did I make this choice? How was I feeling at the time?
Today is my first day back to work. I was off with sick babies for the past 2 days. I got the cold shoulder from everyone. My boss and others went out to lunch leaving me by myself. This has been happening on a weekly if not daily basis. I feel left-out and not wanted.
Things I have to realize: It's a small office. So, while they are understanding to a point about me being off with the kids, it doesn't make it any better as other people have to pick up the slack.
Other Things to realize: I am starting my own daycare this coming winter and will have to "ride it out" until then. Even if I don't start my own daycare, I need to be the best employee I can be.
Life Outside of Work:
My husband and I have been going through tense times. I feel like I am a failure. I don't feel "good enough" for him. These feelings have been pouring out onto our relationship. The way I feel about myself is largely to blame for the way I feel about our relationship. Honestly, if I felt positive about my body, then I think my outlook on my relationship would be more positive.
Things I have to realize: My husband loves me the way I am. He is my biggest fan and will not leave me. He loves me and our relationship and when he married me, he planned to spend the rest of his life with me. I need to get this into my brain and quit accusing him of things he hasn't done or even thought of doing. I need to let go of the self-doubt and start living like today is my last day.
Other things to realize: I need to keep the lines of communication open with my husband. I need to tell him that he does a great job! I need to incorporate more positive energy into our household!
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
3 Goals to accomplish this next week:
1. Start appreciating my husband more and not let my self-esteem issues get in the way.
2. If I feel the need to go to McDonald's (or any fast food joint) grab a salad or something healthier. 2 cheeseburgers is 14 points and a salad with dressing is 10 points.
3. Tell myself one good thing about me every day.
Until Next Time,
The Angry Fat Woman
I have decided to start writing everything down that I eat and so as to figure out why, i've also decided to write the feelings I had when I made that choice.
Today's Meals:
Breakfast: Nothing
Snack: Nothing
Lunch: McDonald's #1 (Big Mac, Fries, Diet Coke) Large & a cheeseburger
Snack: Nothing
Dinner: Not sure
Points so far:
Big Mac = 13
Cheeseburger = 7
French Fries = 14
Diet Coke = 0
Lunch Total = 34
Wow. I'm not sure how many WW points I can have yet, though i'm sure 34 isn't the number.
Why did I make this choice? How was I feeling at the time?
Today is my first day back to work. I was off with sick babies for the past 2 days. I got the cold shoulder from everyone. My boss and others went out to lunch leaving me by myself. This has been happening on a weekly if not daily basis. I feel left-out and not wanted.
Things I have to realize: It's a small office. So, while they are understanding to a point about me being off with the kids, it doesn't make it any better as other people have to pick up the slack.
Other Things to realize: I am starting my own daycare this coming winter and will have to "ride it out" until then. Even if I don't start my own daycare, I need to be the best employee I can be.
Life Outside of Work:
My husband and I have been going through tense times. I feel like I am a failure. I don't feel "good enough" for him. These feelings have been pouring out onto our relationship. The way I feel about myself is largely to blame for the way I feel about our relationship. Honestly, if I felt positive about my body, then I think my outlook on my relationship would be more positive.
Things I have to realize: My husband loves me the way I am. He is my biggest fan and will not leave me. He loves me and our relationship and when he married me, he planned to spend the rest of his life with me. I need to get this into my brain and quit accusing him of things he hasn't done or even thought of doing. I need to let go of the self-doubt and start living like today is my last day.
Other things to realize: I need to keep the lines of communication open with my husband. I need to tell him that he does a great job! I need to incorporate more positive energy into our household!
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
3 Goals to accomplish this next week:
1. Start appreciating my husband more and not let my self-esteem issues get in the way.
2. If I feel the need to go to McDonald's (or any fast food joint) grab a salad or something healthier. 2 cheeseburgers is 14 points and a salad with dressing is 10 points.
3. Tell myself one good thing about me every day.
Until Next Time,
The Angry Fat Woman
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